It just keeps getting better. I am leaving my office to go on a site visit for work and I'm cruising down in the elevator to the first floor.
ding. ding.
The doors open and who is staring me back in the eye?
My long lost contractor.
I could not have scripted it better myself. It was the quintessential... leaving Quiznos excited about your toasted sandwich and running into your ex-girlfriend in front of the Italian ice/ Twisty cone spot near the grocery store parking lot.
He was well dressed. It looked like the month plus of not working for me had been good to him. (My brother reminded me that the dummy bought those lovely clothes with my money) So I'm like...
"Hey, howyadoin?...It's been a while."
He went on about how he just finished another job and how he was ready to get started again...And how he was going to swing by on Monday.
"Interesting."
He mentioned how he had been upset about how the stucco guys didn't wait for him to fix the roof soffit before they moved their scaffolding. (They did wait, for the record) And that he was going to finish the soffit on Monday and then get ready to start the drywall.
"Hmm... I see."
So get this... Through this brief conversation, I realized that he wasn't coming up into my office to see me. He was actually coming to see a colleague of mine, who he had done some work for previously. That colleague had severed their relationship from that job I believe, because Dummy was... well... most likely being the mediocre performer that he is. He didn't even come to see me. My colleague no longer works at our office and so finding this out led to our conversation. He didn't even come to see me. He was going to waltz into MY OFFICE, speak to MY co-worker and then vanish back into the dingbat abyss that he seemingly emerged from.
"So... do you have a number at which I can reach you?"
It was all I could do to not burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. Am I supposed to be happy that you're ready to do work now? Am I supposed to feel like you are doing me a favor by finishing the job that I've paid you to do? You can't be serious. You can't possibly think that there will be no consequences to your behavior. You can't be that dense... or can you?
I kept it cool. I have nothing to gain by telling him how I feel right now. Let him come on Monday. Let him fix the soffit and the interior trim like he has been paid to do and let him work off the remaining debt. So, I took down his number and told him I would call him a bit later.
I was very proud of myself. What he deserved was a gritty whisper in his ear of..."You tryin to make a fool outta me?" But what I provided was a calm response to an unfortunate situation.
He didn't even come to see me.